How one woman managed angry outbursts and saved her relationship
When D and M came to me, D was unable tolerate the sensations that she felt when she was stressed, and would act out verbally and physically towards M. The intention to reach out to him with affection would turn into a slap. We worked together to uncover the feelings in the present moment and how they linked back to both their families of origin. D and M had complementary trauma histories. This allowed the cycle of D losing her temper and M walking on eggshells to continue.
We worked together to:
- Help M understand how unsafe D felt with physical contact and what was getting triggered in the process. He also learned to respect and hold his own boundaries.
- Teach D to slowdown and catch the moment before anxiety escalated to the point that she needed to physically act out.
- Help D develop the ability to detect past danger from present and commit to a loving, safe relationship.
In Their Own Words
D: Doing somatic work with charna changed my life. I learned how to connect with myself and my feelings in a new and deeper way. My communication skills and ability to maintain healthy boundaries with people improved dramatically. I was also able to change troublesome patterns of behavior with my husband and our relationship is much stronger thanks to the skills I learned from Charna.
M: We can't thank Charna enough for all she's done for us. The work we did with her probably saved our marriage. We came to Charna because we had some verbally and physically abusive patterns in our relationship that we wanted to change. Charna helped us unwind the old traumas that were the root of these patterns through some very innovative movement/centering exercises, bodywork and 'talk therapy.' She taught us very practical communication skills that made it possible for us to relate to each other in new ways.
D&M: Today we enjoy a more intimate and fulfilling relationship where it's safe to express our feelings to one another. We both listen better and are able to respond to each other's needs and request in a more loving and positive manner.”